Obsessed?

Some days I feel like working towards my goals is great and some days I find myself explaining myself and defending myself. I am not trying to throw my lifestyle into your face. Essentially on Facebook that is what we all do right? Well any social media for that matter. Our kids, relationships, jobs...whatever you feel like putting out there for the world to see. Usually when you throw something in someones face it is usually something bad and negative. I never thought of doing something positive being thrown in anyone's face.

Who knows if I will actually participate in a figure competition. I sure don't, its just giving me a goal to work towards since I reached my weight goal. Now I want to keep going and reach more goals. I don't post what Im doing as a way of saying "LOOK WHAT I CAN AFFORD!". That isn't it either. I sacrificed for this. I live off of a monthly budget and could be making a car payment but instead I am spending it on training. This is something that means something to me. To be honest I may have given up already if it wasn't for all the support. I just want to show that it can be done. You can go from pregnant 190lbs to competition ready in a pretty short period of time with dedication and hard work. This also isn't to offend those that have this lifestyle or have competed. Im not saying its easy. Quite the opposite it is very hard.

I have felt lost all day today and my mind is going a hundred miles an hour. I am not doing this all for selfish reasons. It is important to me that my son see that your body is the only one we get and should be taken care of. I feel like its going to benefit him to see both of his parents taking care of themselves and staying active.

This is more of a mini rant. Apologies. It wont always be like this. I have gotten messages like "You checking in at the gym doesn't motivate me to go, its just annoying"- but I barely know him so I didn't let it get to me. Ive had other friends tell me its an obsession and I need to chill out on the fitness stuff. Why though? I didn't see anyone saying anything about my checking in at the bar or posting party photos. No one seemed to have a problem with that toxic lifestyle so why is this a problem for anyone? I feel so connected to those of you that have started this journey and I look forward to your messages. Today was a day when I needed all the positive feedback and I am so thankful. I don't think most people  mean to hurt my feelings. Sensitive subject I guess. One of those 'damned if you do, damned if you don't' situations.

Others in the gym motivate me. I people watch when I can, or if I am in between sets or waiting for a class. Seeing the dedication and familiar faces keeps me going. The instructors have this crazy energy and they make every motion seem so effortless. That also keeps me going. Its good to have positive people around.